One year ago i was here.... having these removed....
Exactly one year ago Dr. Bill Campbell removed both of my Plantaris muscles from my calves. Today I arrived in Amsterdam ready to race in the single scull at the Holland Beker regatta this weekend. For me it seems like an eternity ago that I was under the knife having surgery, so much has happened since that day, lots of which you have been privy to as a result of this blog and the web series.
Today I am where I want to be, with the aussie team in Europe, it is what i have wanted and already it has been fun. Being here has allowed me to reflect in a big way as I am now able to look back from a different perspective on the events that have transpired in the last few years.
It is a great feeling being back in Europe
with the national team, it is something I have craved for, something I would
say I ‘obsessed’ over since having such a great time with the M8+ in 2011. I
have come a long way physically since 12 months ago when I was crawling around
on the floor for a few weeks. To say it has been easy, or that it has been
enjoyable though would be bending the truth. Every single day has been a challenge for
me in some way. It is this comment which
now finds me reflecting on everything I have learnt in the last 12 months and
even more dating back to surgery in march 2012. I have come to understand that
it is so important to find other areas of your life to be happy with when
something you are passionate about is not going as planned. On reflection, I
put so much emotional and physical energy into my rowing that at times I
neglected some other important areas of my life and became somewhat wayward
with my life balance and management of behaviour. At times I had the mindset 'everything will be fine once my rowing is where I want it to be', this turned out to be a dangerous mindset on occasions. And if only it was that simple...
As a result some mistakes were made, I have had the experience of learning from these. Experience can be brutal, but you learn, my god do you learn. My one regret from my experience over the last few years dealing with various setbacks inhibiting my rowing is that I never truly took a step back and took it for what it was, and really got stuck into other areas of my life. This would be the one thing I would change if I was to have my time again. Don’t get me wrong, I would still give the exact same commitment, but I would find a better balance to ensure other areas of my life still flourished which would have made today even more enjoyable than it already is. Take that as my words of wisdom if that is of any help to any of you. Be happy with the things that are working for you even if something isn't where you want it to be.
As a result some mistakes were made, I have had the experience of learning from these. Experience can be brutal, but you learn, my god do you learn. My one regret from my experience over the last few years dealing with various setbacks inhibiting my rowing is that I never truly took a step back and took it for what it was, and really got stuck into other areas of my life. This would be the one thing I would change if I was to have my time again. Don’t get me wrong, I would still give the exact same commitment, but I would find a better balance to ensure other areas of my life still flourished which would have made today even more enjoyable than it already is. Take that as my words of wisdom if that is of any help to any of you. Be happy with the things that are working for you even if something isn't where you want it to be.
You may wonder why I am choosing to write
this way and why I am saying the following, it will make sense by
the end of this (I hope).
From where I stand today there are so many
people who have helped me get here and I would like to thank them. Firstly my
parents and family for always being there for me. I couldn’t have done it
without my Mum and Dad by my side. I know it was hard on those close to me
seeing me so frustrated and they were very much at the center of this small
core group of people. My emotions were spilled onto them, and they were
amazing. Everyone at the VIS, the staff, support staff, fellow athletes and
special mention to Harry for helping me find my feet again (multiple times). To
those who have been particularly close to me and witnessed the (potentially
untold) ups and downs you deserve special mention as you have seen the true
challenge that I have faced and you know better than most how challenging it
has been for me. I am sorry to those who I hurt at times.
The rowing scholarship group within the VIS
deserves a mention, you made me determined to get back, just so I could
train alongside such a great group of guys. It was hard seeing you doing what I
wanted to do, but it drove me to return in some ways simply to be there to have
breakfast on southbank post session, even if all we did was share stories of who kept their heart
rate the highest for the longest. Thanks to my friends for all the support and
encouragement and thanks to all the supporters of ‘Unsinkable’, each comment of
support has made a difference. Big thanks to Lachy for helping me share my
story so well, I never envisioned it to be of such quality and I know I speak
for a lot of you that you have enjoyed the web series and the insight provided.
I am extremely excited to get stuck into
the next 3 weeks. I race here at Holland Beker this weekend, at Henley Royal
Regatta next week and lastly World Cup 3 in Lucerne, Switzerland (All of these
in the single barring injury/illness in the quad). As much as I am excited to
spend a few weeks away I am also looking forward to my return back home. The
last few years have been challenging to say the least, I have endured 3 major
procedures on each calf plus hip surgery since I last travelled in 2011 and
with that came some horrible lows of which I never want to think about again. In
regards to returning home, I want to get home and relax, reflect on what I have
experienced and the learning which has taken place and make sure I learn from
my experiences. However after touching
down in Melbourne on the 15th July I want to close the book on that
chapter of my life. Of course I will share the story and my experience to those
who I speak to with my role at the VIS and I hope that through my experiences I
can help others manage challenging circumstances, however it is time to leave the
injuries and that part of my rowing career behind. I recently turned 26 and fortunately
have finally woken up to myself and decided that whatever happens with my
rowing from here on in. Nothing will ever hurt me as much as my experiences
over the last few years. It is time to stop looking backwards and being annoyed about lost opportunities and the struggles, but time now to live for the now,
and plan for the future.
I will try post a few updates over the next
3 weeks while I am away, And I will try and share this experience with as many
of you as possible, in some way each and every one of you reading this has
helped me on my journey so I hope the ongoing insight offers something to each
of you.
For now its time to get stuck into it!!!
Cheers, John
