What have I been up to?

Hi there.
Apologies for lack of reading material recently. I have become much busier over the last few weeks and every time I sat down to write something for you I decided either a sleep, food or an episode of suits was a better option. However, I do have some interesting thoughts to share with you so hopefully this will give you some insight into the last two weeks.

Why have I been busy? Over the last few weeks I have started back at university. I am in my final semester of Exercise Science at the Australian Catholic University in Melbourne. It is currently week 4 which means it is about time I open up the subject outlines and start on some assignments which are due this time next week. Yay. I have also started working with the Xavier College school rowing program. This season I am the strength and conditioning coach and also the 2nd 8 coach. At the moment as part of pre season training I work with a group of around 30 students 3 mornings a week and take them through a mixture of body weight and core stability exercises, an ergo session, a boxing session and also a game of ultimate frisbee once per week which they seem to enjoy. Over the last few weeks I have found it challenging turning up to inspire and instruct these kids, most particularly mornings when i was struggling emotionally with other aspects of my life. However, it has been important not to let the kids see this, and thus has provided a very useful distraction for me. This is similar to work i have been doing where I take school students on guided tours through the Victorian Institute of Sport, Along with the tour I want to show the school kids how positive and determined I am even after all the setbacks and leave them feeling extremely motivated to challenge themselves and to never give up chasing their dreams, showing this on the 'tough' days has taken some practice. I have also been busy training on the bike in the gym (I am getting close to completing my first road riding session). Attached is an update of the 30min bike sessions i have been completing. I am excited to see this chart in a few months time.

As this shows, physically I am progressing well and so far my legs are coping extremely well with the training. Other than some muscular aches and the neural pain that i have spoken about previously, I couldn't be happier with how they are feeling. However in regards to this, I have reached a realisation that I am all to familiar with which is the point where the excitement from being able to exercise post surgery has faded and you are left with a dreading feeling as you contemplate how much work needs to be done to return to an elite level and thinking about all the hours and time that I need to invest into this is a little confronting. Unfortunately for me it was only last year that I went through an identical rehabilitation post surgery in April, and the memories of what I put myself through from June-Novemeber last year is very fresh in my mind. And on that topic, following that training I managed to put myself in a good position and was able to win the national long distance time trial in december, so to consider doing anything different isn't really an option for me, as it seemed to work well for me last time. Just pray to the gods that once i build up my strength and fitness again this time nothing goes pear shaped. 'Touch wood' i am extremely confident the issue is behind me and i will be able to move forward and get back to doing what it is I so desperately want. 

A few weeks ago i mentioned a cycle of emotion. Some of you will have already seen part of the following but i have added to it. For those of you new to my story, i encourage you to go back to the 21st July post to gain a full insight into where i was only one month ago which will also mean the following makes much more sense. 

A CYCLE OF EMOTION

Happiness- doing what you love doing. Competing to a high standard. Living the dream, training with your mates and enjoying yourself and the lifestyle. 

Denial- feeling your feet going numb during exercise but not fully admitting the seriousness of the situation. 

Frustration/Anger- accepting that you are again unable to continue exercise/sport and you have to step back from your sporting goals

Despair - Wondering if you will ever be able to exercise again in your life, let alone compete in high level sport

Excitement - Being told by a surgeon that there is a major procedure that you have not yet had, and that this offers a high percentage chance of complete recovery. And the excitement of being in hospital and being on the road to recovery

Sadness/Frustration- Leaving hospital and beginning to comprehend and accept the long road ahead (this is not helped by having been through the same situation many times before, I think as i mentioned in a previous post that when I was 19 and having shoulder reconstructions I never thought about the actual road to recovery, it was more I just did it as that was what i needed to do)

Happiness- You are able to start exercising again, and initially you get some very rapid improvements which is very uplifting and makes you feel much better about yourself as you are on the road back.

A Reality Check- Where i am currently at now is a feeling of accepting the road back to a good performance. In some ways it was easier going through this last year when I just took it for what it was, However it only feels like yesterday that i was just starting back training prior to watching my ex team mates at the olympics last year. And the memories of what it took to return from surgery is all too fresh. And I am now accepting that to return back to where I want to be is going to take some time. And i will not be rowing super fast in my single scull or chasing 'strava KOM's' in the Dandenong ranges just yet.. 

I have much more I plan to share with you, and I have made some notes about the past 8 months of my life and what that experience has been like, what it has shown and taught me. However I want to keep these short enough that it doesn't take more than a few minutes of scrolling through on your Iphone so i will save this for a future post.

However in finishing this up, I just want to explain in regards to my 'medical condition' of "popliteal  artery entrapment". It is not like returning from a back injury, knee reconstruction or shoulder reconstruction where it is important to return as much strength as possible to the site which will minimise future problems. With my legs, there isn't anything I can do other than start progressing with training and hoping it is smooth sailing. The reason I mention this is I have heard a few whispers that the reason my condition returned at the beginning of this year was because i completed "too much cycling" or "trained too hard",  I actually wish that I did actually have some control as to ensuring i do not run into issues again, however it not like this which is something that has taken me a little bit to get my head around. All i can do is get stuck into it and be positive that things will be as the surgeon and medical staff suggest and expect. Basically the only other option would be to exercise a few times a week like the general population, however this doesn't offer much in regards to competing again on the world stage. For those unfamiliar with the photos posted on the 5th July i suggest you go back and have a look, as I am of the belief now that how could i possible have any trouble down the track after removing those steaks from each of my legs. 

Hopefully that makes sense, as I am now off to get into the gym to do some more bike (thinking time) and I actually plan on some swimming for the first time post op. The scars have finally closed over (only took 8 weeks) which means risk of infection has passed, it will be nice to get into the pool! Oh and i am also loving commuting on my new mountain bike. Won't be long now until you are reading about me riding up and (slowly) down the hills through the forrest behind Lorne on this bike. 

Until next time, please keep reading as I love checking to see how many views my posts get. By seeing that over 600 people are now consistently viewing my story is very humbling for me, so please help support me by sharing 'Unsinkable' on social media with those around you. If i can inspire a just a small percentage of you then all the 'blogging' at this point in time is very worthwhile. All going well at the end of this there is the potential for a very cool story and to be able to follow my story as it progresses is the reward I want to offer you by subscribing to this blog now. 

Cheers, John 

Legs are waking up! Physiology and progression

I just wanted to quickly share with you some of the sessions i have been doing over the last few weeks. I have stopped on the swimming ergo and doing upper body circuit training. My ribs and chest are still recovering from all that trauma so the timing of me being able to start back on the bike was just in time. Otherwise potentially I would have been dealing with sore legs and a stress fracture to my rib. 

I have been doing all my sessions on stationary bikes in the gym. These bikes have power meters on them which is great because it means it is possible to track very accurately how things are progressing. It is much safer for me to be on a stat bike as i can easily control the intensity compared to if i was on the road, the stop start associated on the road and also accelerations would potentially hurt my repairing soft tissue. I also do not see it smart heading out on the road as the first cyclist that decided to pass me would immediately enter into an unknown race with me and once that white line fever kicks in my self control in regards to being careful on the bike may very quickly be thrown out the window. 

Anyways, I will keep this as basic as possible, I understand not of all you will understand. But hopefully the graph shows it simply enough.  

Initially i started on the bike for 10mins @125 watts on the 25th July (18 days ago). progressed to 20mins @163watts and from there was able to progress to 30mins starting at 186 watts on the 1st Aug (11 days ago). Below shows all the 30mins from then on. Basically now i am at a point where i probably need to do about 50-60 of these 30min efforts at around 330-360Watts in the next few months. Following surgery last year i followed the same progression and after around 4-5 months i was able to 4x30min in one session averaging 360 Watts. So that is where i hope to get to again. I will update this graph as i get further down the track. It will be interesting to track power output versus HR data over time. 

Obviously very pleased with how things are tracking so far. And i must admit to now be able to commute in to the gym on my MTB and complete 2x30min at an intensity that is somewhat respectable is a great feeling, and is certainly reducing the mental stress associated with being inactive out of the equation significantly.
Below shows me pictured on the bike last Saturday morning happy with how things are tracking.
A pretty big turn around from crawling around the house only 6 weeks ago..

If you have any questions about what i am up to please comment or let me know so i can include it in future posts. In regards to the training you could consider this a mini case study and I am happy to share all the data, just so long as some of you younger kids don't learn too quickly and start beating me. haha

Lastly some housekeeping, if you are on twitter please follow me '@johnlinke' as i regularly post pictures and data from my training sessions.

Regards, John 

Excited would be an understatement!!

Hey there.

Lets get straight into it. A very positive and enjoyable read coming up, so don't fret those of you who fear another 'miserable john linke special' please read on i have exciting news!!

Over the past 9 days there have been some things which I have kept to myself as I was too afraid to voice them prior to a scheduled meeting today with my surgeon Bill Campbell. To be honest I have been slightly shitting myself that something was wrong with my right leg. However I am now in a position where I can share some of my thoughts and feelings over the past 9 days. So without mucking around here is my attempt at explaining a few things that have been troubling me recently. Bear with me, hopefully this will come out in a way that makes sense.

2 weeks ago i first started back on the wattbike, very slowly obviously but have been gradually progressing up to today where i was able to do 30 minutes at 250 Watts. Starting to become slightly more respectable. The output is not of much importance though, I know that in time that will come.

However, while i was able to progress slowly on the bike, my right leg has been troubling me, I have been experiencing a tight cramping feeling on the outside out of my lower leg. The feeling was similar to that of what i had experienced prior to the surgery so my immediate fears were that i was still having vascular problems in my calf. I spoke to my physio and doc about these sensations, they both told me it was a neural sensation and had nothing to do with any vascular issues. However today my mind was put completely at ease as I had an appointment with Bill Campbell at the Epworth hospital which involved a simple test.

While watching my popliteal artery under ultrasound, you simply stand on your tip toes and watch how the calf contraction affects the artery. I estimate i have had this test done 15 times over the past 3.5 years and not once has the artery remained open and allowed normal blood flow. So today repeating this test was very stressful and I was praying to the gods that the surgery has changed the anatomy in my legs sufficiently enough to ensure that while flexing my calf (standing on my tip toes) the artery remained open. And..... IT STAYED OPEN. My god, was I relieved. I can't explain how happy I felt, had it not stayed open i am not sure what I would have done. To explain my joy is hard, so I will leave it at that for now, However stay tuned for an exciting 12 part series 'unsinkable' which will detail an episode showing what I was up to today and shares some of my thoughts about the enormity of the experience. I am yet to view the footage which was taken today but i am told it is pretty emotional to see how i reacted when realising my artery was staying open during calf contraction. (I endeavour to post the first episode asap, I am just awaiting some finalisation in regards to sponsorship for the production costs then it will be delivered to you).

To visually see that the artery is now remaining open during calf contraction is huge for me. It is a massive step towards a being an athlete again. Bill also explained to me the cramping sensation is due to nerve damage both from the trauma of the surgery, the compression on the nerve that has been occurring as a result of living with this condition for so long and also due to the fact that I have been living with chronic pain for some years now. Therefore my mind is so used to feeling pain in my legs, and combined with nerve damage, my nervous system is a little out of whack and will take time to settle. Bill suggested it could be around 6 months before they feel completely normal. The good news is, other than it being uncomfortable while exercising, it will not significantly affect my progress which is great. I have been told to consider it like my body re-learning what normal is again. Something i have zero confidence is explaining after going through all this.

Knowing that it is not a vascular problem puts my mind at ease and I am now at a point where i can accept that i have had major surgery and having an entire muscle removed there is going to be significant changes within my legs and that will take some time to settle down. Being able to accept this is a good step forward in managing the whole situation emotionally and mentally. For those of you that have caught on already, i did touch briefly on my concerns in my last post stating that i had spoken to the physio and he was able to explain the aches and pains as being expected, What i didn't share was that i feared the worst and had concerns in regards to a vascular problem. Not trying to be cryptic, but i do want to continue to provide an honest insight into my thoughts, and i do feel it necessary to explain myself and what i am writing. Hope that makes sense..

For now, other than my newly heightened confidence in the success of the most recent procedure nothing changes, I continue building up my fitness and leg strength again. I know I still have a long road ahead, and I am not looking forward to when the national team competes at the world champs in a month or so. That will be tough to watch. And it is not like i can now start training again and I will be fine soon, Sadly after going through all this many times before with both my shoulder and my legs, I all to well know the long road ahead. I would be ignorant to think it is going to be easy, and to think it will not have a cost on my well being would be crazy. There are going to be good weeks and i know there will be some bad weeks, but as long as overall i am trending upwards towards a successful return to sport, i will endeavour to remain as calm minded as possible, something of which unfortunately I have recently struggled with in regards to other aspects of my day to day life.

Anyways i think is enough on that and for tonight. I hope you have been able to gauge the relief that todays test result has given me. Seriously, today was big, had that test have shown the artery close down during calf contraction it would have been an entirely different post, something of which I doubt my mum would have appreciated reading in regards to language used.

Also as a side note, if you have any questions or comments you wish to post below, please do not hesitate as I would love to get a feel for how this is being received. As I have said previously, it is not easy in being so candid and sharing with you all. But i do hope that you are able to gain a true understanding of some of the emotions and experiences I am going through.

Regards, John