Tough day- staying positive

Today has been a tough day stuck on my back in hosp. Now the pain is settling I have started to let my mind drift as to why it is I am doing this and for what is ahead of me. i have thought about for how long I have been chasing something that has for some time now moved further and further from my grasp. As a 19 year old getting my 2nd shoulder reco Or a 20 year old getting my first leg op I  was ignorant and never thought an injury would limit my sporting aspirations. However after the last 16 months that has well and truly changed. I will find it hard to portray through words what a return to elite sport now means to me. However I will have a crack by saying that if bill Campbell has solved my ongoing issues, very few things are going to come between me and what it is I want. Now it is easy for somebody to lie in a hospital bed appropriately medicated and say they will try harder than ever. This is not what I am saying, as I believe I already had that mindset last march when I went through a rehabilitation after missing out on a selection chance for London. And without being cocky, my results in a national sculling time trial late in the year spoke for themselves and highlighted just how I carried myself physically and mentally to return to my best. I plan on doing exactly the same thing this year. Just that this time around I will be even more gracious for the opportunity. Over the past year and a half I have had the opportunity to talk to numerous school groups about how passionate I have become and trying to help somebody gain a mindset strong enough to actually chase a dream. Using my story i try show the kids perseverance and determination. I try explain that Anybody can have a dream, but helping somebody grasp that and put plans in place to achieve that dream is what is beneficial. My message has been you only get one chance. And once your body is too old, you don't want to look back on your sporting career and think what if? This is how I feel now. I can't give up at this point. I have to know.  Trying to write this well and make it sound really amazing is harder to do, but I believe it is worth trying to get a few of you to think of this, as somebody who takes a sporting  talent or opportunity for granted in my eyes may never be able to tap into their true emotions and really go to the bottom of the barrel in order to achieve their potential when it counts. And I don't mean on race day. But being motivated enough to train for years at the required intensity  with a single focus and never loose sight of the focus is what counts and determines success. This is what I am talking about. I know writing this now may carry very little power to you as readers and I get that. but i urge you to stick with me as i hope over this journey my actions will begin to speak louder than words and I can spend less time writing  with more time training and ultimately  getting the results I desire is what will make this blog a powerful message to you. To me, as long as my body performs the way it now should after this 5th op, i am extremely optimistic about the journey ahead of me. An optimistic mindset I know but if I didn't I wouldn't bother putting myself subject to this honest insight into my journey.  John