What have I been up to?

Hi there.
Apologies for lack of reading material recently. I have become much busier over the last few weeks and every time I sat down to write something for you I decided either a sleep, food or an episode of suits was a better option. However, I do have some interesting thoughts to share with you so hopefully this will give you some insight into the last two weeks.

Why have I been busy? Over the last few weeks I have started back at university. I am in my final semester of Exercise Science at the Australian Catholic University in Melbourne. It is currently week 4 which means it is about time I open up the subject outlines and start on some assignments which are due this time next week. Yay. I have also started working with the Xavier College school rowing program. This season I am the strength and conditioning coach and also the 2nd 8 coach. At the moment as part of pre season training I work with a group of around 30 students 3 mornings a week and take them through a mixture of body weight and core stability exercises, an ergo session, a boxing session and also a game of ultimate frisbee once per week which they seem to enjoy. Over the last few weeks I have found it challenging turning up to inspire and instruct these kids, most particularly mornings when i was struggling emotionally with other aspects of my life. However, it has been important not to let the kids see this, and thus has provided a very useful distraction for me. This is similar to work i have been doing where I take school students on guided tours through the Victorian Institute of Sport, Along with the tour I want to show the school kids how positive and determined I am even after all the setbacks and leave them feeling extremely motivated to challenge themselves and to never give up chasing their dreams, showing this on the 'tough' days has taken some practice. I have also been busy training on the bike in the gym (I am getting close to completing my first road riding session). Attached is an update of the 30min bike sessions i have been completing. I am excited to see this chart in a few months time.

As this shows, physically I am progressing well and so far my legs are coping extremely well with the training. Other than some muscular aches and the neural pain that i have spoken about previously, I couldn't be happier with how they are feeling. However in regards to this, I have reached a realisation that I am all to familiar with which is the point where the excitement from being able to exercise post surgery has faded and you are left with a dreading feeling as you contemplate how much work needs to be done to return to an elite level and thinking about all the hours and time that I need to invest into this is a little confronting. Unfortunately for me it was only last year that I went through an identical rehabilitation post surgery in April, and the memories of what I put myself through from June-Novemeber last year is very fresh in my mind. And on that topic, following that training I managed to put myself in a good position and was able to win the national long distance time trial in december, so to consider doing anything different isn't really an option for me, as it seemed to work well for me last time. Just pray to the gods that once i build up my strength and fitness again this time nothing goes pear shaped. 'Touch wood' i am extremely confident the issue is behind me and i will be able to move forward and get back to doing what it is I so desperately want. 

A few weeks ago i mentioned a cycle of emotion. Some of you will have already seen part of the following but i have added to it. For those of you new to my story, i encourage you to go back to the 21st July post to gain a full insight into where i was only one month ago which will also mean the following makes much more sense. 

A CYCLE OF EMOTION

Happiness- doing what you love doing. Competing to a high standard. Living the dream, training with your mates and enjoying yourself and the lifestyle. 

Denial- feeling your feet going numb during exercise but not fully admitting the seriousness of the situation. 

Frustration/Anger- accepting that you are again unable to continue exercise/sport and you have to step back from your sporting goals

Despair - Wondering if you will ever be able to exercise again in your life, let alone compete in high level sport

Excitement - Being told by a surgeon that there is a major procedure that you have not yet had, and that this offers a high percentage chance of complete recovery. And the excitement of being in hospital and being on the road to recovery

Sadness/Frustration- Leaving hospital and beginning to comprehend and accept the long road ahead (this is not helped by having been through the same situation many times before, I think as i mentioned in a previous post that when I was 19 and having shoulder reconstructions I never thought about the actual road to recovery, it was more I just did it as that was what i needed to do)

Happiness- You are able to start exercising again, and initially you get some very rapid improvements which is very uplifting and makes you feel much better about yourself as you are on the road back.

A Reality Check- Where i am currently at now is a feeling of accepting the road back to a good performance. In some ways it was easier going through this last year when I just took it for what it was, However it only feels like yesterday that i was just starting back training prior to watching my ex team mates at the olympics last year. And the memories of what it took to return from surgery is all too fresh. And I am now accepting that to return back to where I want to be is going to take some time. And i will not be rowing super fast in my single scull or chasing 'strava KOM's' in the Dandenong ranges just yet.. 

I have much more I plan to share with you, and I have made some notes about the past 8 months of my life and what that experience has been like, what it has shown and taught me. However I want to keep these short enough that it doesn't take more than a few minutes of scrolling through on your Iphone so i will save this for a future post.

However in finishing this up, I just want to explain in regards to my 'medical condition' of "popliteal  artery entrapment". It is not like returning from a back injury, knee reconstruction or shoulder reconstruction where it is important to return as much strength as possible to the site which will minimise future problems. With my legs, there isn't anything I can do other than start progressing with training and hoping it is smooth sailing. The reason I mention this is I have heard a few whispers that the reason my condition returned at the beginning of this year was because i completed "too much cycling" or "trained too hard",  I actually wish that I did actually have some control as to ensuring i do not run into issues again, however it not like this which is something that has taken me a little bit to get my head around. All i can do is get stuck into it and be positive that things will be as the surgeon and medical staff suggest and expect. Basically the only other option would be to exercise a few times a week like the general population, however this doesn't offer much in regards to competing again on the world stage. For those unfamiliar with the photos posted on the 5th July i suggest you go back and have a look, as I am of the belief now that how could i possible have any trouble down the track after removing those steaks from each of my legs. 

Hopefully that makes sense, as I am now off to get into the gym to do some more bike (thinking time) and I actually plan on some swimming for the first time post op. The scars have finally closed over (only took 8 weeks) which means risk of infection has passed, it will be nice to get into the pool! Oh and i am also loving commuting on my new mountain bike. Won't be long now until you are reading about me riding up and (slowly) down the hills through the forrest behind Lorne on this bike. 

Until next time, please keep reading as I love checking to see how many views my posts get. By seeing that over 600 people are now consistently viewing my story is very humbling for me, so please help support me by sharing 'Unsinkable' on social media with those around you. If i can inspire a just a small percentage of you then all the 'blogging' at this point in time is very worthwhile. All going well at the end of this there is the potential for a very cool story and to be able to follow my story as it progresses is the reward I want to offer you by subscribing to this blog now. 

Cheers, John 

Legs are waking up! Physiology and progression

I just wanted to quickly share with you some of the sessions i have been doing over the last few weeks. I have stopped on the swimming ergo and doing upper body circuit training. My ribs and chest are still recovering from all that trauma so the timing of me being able to start back on the bike was just in time. Otherwise potentially I would have been dealing with sore legs and a stress fracture to my rib. 

I have been doing all my sessions on stationary bikes in the gym. These bikes have power meters on them which is great because it means it is possible to track very accurately how things are progressing. It is much safer for me to be on a stat bike as i can easily control the intensity compared to if i was on the road, the stop start associated on the road and also accelerations would potentially hurt my repairing soft tissue. I also do not see it smart heading out on the road as the first cyclist that decided to pass me would immediately enter into an unknown race with me and once that white line fever kicks in my self control in regards to being careful on the bike may very quickly be thrown out the window. 

Anyways, I will keep this as basic as possible, I understand not of all you will understand. But hopefully the graph shows it simply enough.  

Initially i started on the bike for 10mins @125 watts on the 25th July (18 days ago). progressed to 20mins @163watts and from there was able to progress to 30mins starting at 186 watts on the 1st Aug (11 days ago). Below shows all the 30mins from then on. Basically now i am at a point where i probably need to do about 50-60 of these 30min efforts at around 330-360Watts in the next few months. Following surgery last year i followed the same progression and after around 4-5 months i was able to 4x30min in one session averaging 360 Watts. So that is where i hope to get to again. I will update this graph as i get further down the track. It will be interesting to track power output versus HR data over time. 

Obviously very pleased with how things are tracking so far. And i must admit to now be able to commute in to the gym on my MTB and complete 2x30min at an intensity that is somewhat respectable is a great feeling, and is certainly reducing the mental stress associated with being inactive out of the equation significantly.
Below shows me pictured on the bike last Saturday morning happy with how things are tracking.
A pretty big turn around from crawling around the house only 6 weeks ago..

If you have any questions about what i am up to please comment or let me know so i can include it in future posts. In regards to the training you could consider this a mini case study and I am happy to share all the data, just so long as some of you younger kids don't learn too quickly and start beating me. haha

Lastly some housekeeping, if you are on twitter please follow me '@johnlinke' as i regularly post pictures and data from my training sessions.

Regards, John 

Excited would be an understatement!!

Hey there.

Lets get straight into it. A very positive and enjoyable read coming up, so don't fret those of you who fear another 'miserable john linke special' please read on i have exciting news!!

Over the past 9 days there have been some things which I have kept to myself as I was too afraid to voice them prior to a scheduled meeting today with my surgeon Bill Campbell. To be honest I have been slightly shitting myself that something was wrong with my right leg. However I am now in a position where I can share some of my thoughts and feelings over the past 9 days. So without mucking around here is my attempt at explaining a few things that have been troubling me recently. Bear with me, hopefully this will come out in a way that makes sense.

2 weeks ago i first started back on the wattbike, very slowly obviously but have been gradually progressing up to today where i was able to do 30 minutes at 250 Watts. Starting to become slightly more respectable. The output is not of much importance though, I know that in time that will come.

However, while i was able to progress slowly on the bike, my right leg has been troubling me, I have been experiencing a tight cramping feeling on the outside out of my lower leg. The feeling was similar to that of what i had experienced prior to the surgery so my immediate fears were that i was still having vascular problems in my calf. I spoke to my physio and doc about these sensations, they both told me it was a neural sensation and had nothing to do with any vascular issues. However today my mind was put completely at ease as I had an appointment with Bill Campbell at the Epworth hospital which involved a simple test.

While watching my popliteal artery under ultrasound, you simply stand on your tip toes and watch how the calf contraction affects the artery. I estimate i have had this test done 15 times over the past 3.5 years and not once has the artery remained open and allowed normal blood flow. So today repeating this test was very stressful and I was praying to the gods that the surgery has changed the anatomy in my legs sufficiently enough to ensure that while flexing my calf (standing on my tip toes) the artery remained open. And..... IT STAYED OPEN. My god, was I relieved. I can't explain how happy I felt, had it not stayed open i am not sure what I would have done. To explain my joy is hard, so I will leave it at that for now, However stay tuned for an exciting 12 part series 'unsinkable' which will detail an episode showing what I was up to today and shares some of my thoughts about the enormity of the experience. I am yet to view the footage which was taken today but i am told it is pretty emotional to see how i reacted when realising my artery was staying open during calf contraction. (I endeavour to post the first episode asap, I am just awaiting some finalisation in regards to sponsorship for the production costs then it will be delivered to you).

To visually see that the artery is now remaining open during calf contraction is huge for me. It is a massive step towards a being an athlete again. Bill also explained to me the cramping sensation is due to nerve damage both from the trauma of the surgery, the compression on the nerve that has been occurring as a result of living with this condition for so long and also due to the fact that I have been living with chronic pain for some years now. Therefore my mind is so used to feeling pain in my legs, and combined with nerve damage, my nervous system is a little out of whack and will take time to settle. Bill suggested it could be around 6 months before they feel completely normal. The good news is, other than it being uncomfortable while exercising, it will not significantly affect my progress which is great. I have been told to consider it like my body re-learning what normal is again. Something i have zero confidence is explaining after going through all this.

Knowing that it is not a vascular problem puts my mind at ease and I am now at a point where i can accept that i have had major surgery and having an entire muscle removed there is going to be significant changes within my legs and that will take some time to settle down. Being able to accept this is a good step forward in managing the whole situation emotionally and mentally. For those of you that have caught on already, i did touch briefly on my concerns in my last post stating that i had spoken to the physio and he was able to explain the aches and pains as being expected, What i didn't share was that i feared the worst and had concerns in regards to a vascular problem. Not trying to be cryptic, but i do want to continue to provide an honest insight into my thoughts, and i do feel it necessary to explain myself and what i am writing. Hope that makes sense..

For now, other than my newly heightened confidence in the success of the most recent procedure nothing changes, I continue building up my fitness and leg strength again. I know I still have a long road ahead, and I am not looking forward to when the national team competes at the world champs in a month or so. That will be tough to watch. And it is not like i can now start training again and I will be fine soon, Sadly after going through all this many times before with both my shoulder and my legs, I all to well know the long road ahead. I would be ignorant to think it is going to be easy, and to think it will not have a cost on my well being would be crazy. There are going to be good weeks and i know there will be some bad weeks, but as long as overall i am trending upwards towards a successful return to sport, i will endeavour to remain as calm minded as possible, something of which unfortunately I have recently struggled with in regards to other aspects of my day to day life.

Anyways i think is enough on that and for tonight. I hope you have been able to gauge the relief that todays test result has given me. Seriously, today was big, had that test have shown the artery close down during calf contraction it would have been an entirely different post, something of which I doubt my mum would have appreciated reading in regards to language used.

Also as a side note, if you have any questions or comments you wish to post below, please do not hesitate as I would love to get a feel for how this is being received. As I have said previously, it is not easy in being so candid and sharing with you all. But i do hope that you are able to gain a true understanding of some of the emotions and experiences I am going through.

Regards, John

What a difference a week can make!

Hi,
From my post last sunday to now it is exciting to start seeing some (slow) progress and improvements in many aspects. I had a physio appointment earlier today and apart from the expected aches and pains post major surgery, things are as they should be which is alway supporting to hear.

While my scars are still playing up and are yet to heal and i can still not swim (or show the scars in public) I have been able to start back on a Wattbike the past few days. On the scars, last night i had some fun pulling out 2 stitches. Stitches which should never have been removed by the way. For some reason my body seems to be rejecting the foreign materials in my leg, resulting in pieces of fishing line and string protruding from my leg on random occasions. I feel I have shared enough pictures of the scars and I fear the ear bashing from females I will cop for posting another so will leave it with just a description.

On my progress, I can now sit on the wattbike for 10 minutes at around 100-130watts, this feels comfortable however I am in no rush to push things so will continue to take it easy for a while longer. I am now one day short of 5 weeks post op, however in terms of soft tissue healing, for the trauma i went through, it would be at least 3 months before the tissue really heals and even another 3 months from that until the physiotherapists suggest 100% healing. For those of you familiar with power output on a bike, 100 watts is bugger all however to just be able to move my legs is a good feeling and it is progress from only a few weeks ago when i was unable to walk at all.

I have also been spending some time on the Alter G treadmill that is located at the Victorian Institute of Sport. This machine can alter the weight of your body while walking or running. For me it is very useful and i have been walking at 50% body weight and concentrating on proper gait patterns and working some range back into my calves which are still very stiff. The photo below shows this machine (with me looking very happy) which is much easier than me trying to explain it.

I am also spending considerable time and effort working my upper body and core in the gym. Typically I will spend the morning session completing a circuit based session targeting high repetitions and intensity in the exercises. As an example, this morning i spent 40 minutes continuously completing upper body and core activities, to give you some idea of the intensity for the 40 minutes my average heart rate was 148bpm. And this afternoon I will head in again and do some strength based exercises along with some more stability based activities. Over the coming weeks it is planned that i will have another video to share with you, and this will include some footage of these activities for those of you who are interested so stay tuned for that.

As a side note, the reason I am so keen on working hard in the gym at the moment is not only to start to return my physical state to that of what is required, but for the benefit it gives mentally. To be able to exercise in some capacity is having a significant positive influence on my mental state. This is something that should never be underestimated. I would hope that all of you reading this would be aware of the chemicals 'endorphins' that are released during exercise. If not then i suggest you do a google search. The pleasure associated with exercise is something that for somebody who craves it so much to not be able too is pretty tough, so to be at a point now where i can feel good from completing a solid intensive workout is fantastic even if it is just upper body for now. This has and will result in less mood swings going forward along with fewer restless nights unable to sleep due to just not being tired.

Also just briefly on the mental aspect, yesterday I went for a drive down the coast to Lorne to get out of the city, get a burger from my favourite burger place 'bottle of milk', went for a swim which lasted 6 minutes before i succumbed to antarctic conditions and I also spent some time driving around the hills behind Lorne exploring. Being unable to spend hours on my road bike which is such a release for me, i figured a long drive exploring was possibly the next best option to fill my sunday. For those of you from around here, these photos will show where i was. It really is a nice part of the world, and to get out into the Otway forrest can be a great place to just escape from everything for a few hours.

For now that is all, it is time for a quick nap before heading to the gym again, however without stopping by my good friends at BikeNow on the way to pass on my hard earned as I have decided to purchase a new 29er MTB as a present to myself for dealing with all the shit of the last 6 months. Retail therapy at its best i guess. Although I am excited for when i am able to ride again to do some cross country riding, something I have not done since i was a kid. So there is a logical reason to be buying another bike....

Stay tuned for some exciting upcoming video posts.
Be in touch again soon.
Regards, John

Where I am currently at

       I know I am at risk of sounding too much like a sad case in the last few posts. However unfortunately for me its just a part of the process that has to be taken in order to return back to a somewhat more normal lifestyle. This is not going to happen overnight. And where I hope this all to end up is still a long way off so bear with me for now. My intention in this blog is to keep everything honest, so sugar coating things is not an option nor of any benefit. 

Since my last update I don't exactly have anything super interesting to share with you that has happened, however i do want to take the chance to talk you through some of the emotion and experiences i have faced over the last 6 months and last few years. Hopefully some of you will be able to relate to these experiences both within a sporting environment and maybe also within other aspects of life whatever they may be. 

As a side note, I am finding it hard to talk about everything that I am going through, what i write is not easy to do and i do fear being judged by my friends, family and others, and therefore ask that you please take this information at face value and is nothing more than me trying to share my story and has no hidden agenda or am I appealing for anything in any way. Remembering that all this has a big carrot at the end of it all, and if i can return to an elite level it is these posts which will be important in tracking the honest journey through my rehabilitation. 

The reason i write this is because of what i am about to share. At the moment, life sucks. I am absolutely sick and tired of being in rehabilitation and being unable to do what I want. Last year i watched on as my 2011 team mates competed in London. This I was able to take on the chin, and considered that I had no choice but to keep moving forward and make everything count next year (2013). To be struck down again in January this year was a completely f*&^%# for me. For a period of about 3 weeks i knew my condition had returned and that i was in serious shit, even though my results on the water in december 2012 and still in january 2013 were heading in the right direction towards a good season. Surgery was again required and I was given hope that the condition was behind me for good. 

However, to have to go through the realisation again in April only 2 months post op that I was still suffering from lack of blood flow below my knee was just shit. Realizing that the surgery was unsuccessful was bloody hard. No other way around that. There is a big cycle of emotion that somebody goes through when they are so committed to a particular goal which they are unable to obtain for whatever reason be it in sport like me or missing a promotion at work for example. For me, I went from being on top of the world in december last year after being successful in a national time trial returning from a tough year, to only a month later completely devastated knowing that my body was not right yet again, and i would need more surgery. To meet with a surgeon and be told it can be fixed, brings you instantly out of the depressive state, and enjoyment follows with the excitement that it is not all over. This continues to entering hospital which to me has been a very positive place as I feel that i am about to be 'mended'. This euphoria lasts a while, until the point where you realise that there is a seriously long road ahead before you can return to what it is you so greatly desire. Currently I find myself at the point where the excitement associated with being told there is a surgical cure, and the surgery itself has worn off, and now i am facing the reality that it is not like it is just a few weeks and all will be good, I have months and months of hard work and shit times before i would consider myself at a level capable of trialling for a seat in the national team. And unfortunately for some particularly close to me, who may witness some of the mood swings associated, it is a while before these are behind me. To quickly summarise what i have just said... 

A CYCLE OF EMOTION

Happiness- doing what you love doing. Competing to a high standard. Living the dream, training with your mates and enjoying yourself and the lifestyle. 

Denial- feeling your feet going numb during exercise but not fully admitting the seriousness of the situation. 

Frustration/Anger- accepting that you are again unable to continue exercise/sport and you have to step back from your sporting goals

Despair - Wondering if you will ever be able to exercise again in your life, let alone compete in high level sport

Excitement - Being told by a surgeon that there is a major procedure that you have not yet had, and that this offers a high percentage chance of complete recovery. And the excitement of being in hospital and being on the road to recovery

Sadness/Frustration- Leaving hospital and beginning to comprehend and accept the long road ahead (this is not helped by having been through the same situation many times before, I think as i mentioned in a previous post that when I was 19 and having shoulder reconstructions I never thought about the actual road to recovery, it was more I just did it as that was what i needed to do)

Anyways, the reason i wanted to spend some time explaining all that, as having been through it 5 times with my legs and 3 times with my shoulder it has really started to wear thin on me. The amount of emotional energy it takes to get through such major setbacks and subsequent medical procedures is wearing me out and there is only so much somebody can take. I know that thinking about all these experiences as a whole is not smart and of course is going to be overwhelming, however when i sit on the couch this afternoon and look back at the journey that has been so far, i find it hard not to be frustrated that it has not have been multiple years on the national team living the dream, like so many of my good mates have done over the past few years enjoying everything that comes with that: training in Italy, competing at world championships and world cups, training and living with your good mates etc.

To watch Josh Dunkley-Smith last weekend on my laptop at home race at the world cup in Lucerne, Switzerland is hard. We went to school together and rowed together, and both came through the U23 program at Mercantile, his path has gone one way, and mine the other. Not only is it hard watching him, but at the beginning of this year we had a lot of fun together while on training camps and to have lost that friendship at the moment isn't easy either. Or as another example with the TV currently on watching Tom Hawkins who i spent summer holidays with when i was younger excel while playing for the cats in the AFL is tough, as a kid I always dreamed of following in my dads footsteps at Geelong which is what Tom is now doing following his dad Jack. To have watched his journey with interest makes me jealous (Obviously i was not given the skills to make it in football...)

 I know everybody has had tough times, but I guess my experiences have really made me realise how cruel life can be sometimes, being so close (at times) yet so far from your goals and this will be something that drives me back to what i desire with this feeling now of watching others excel makes me so determined to achieve my personal goals. 

Finishing on a more positive note I am so confident that when i get my chance to perform on the big stage it will be all the more enjoyable when i look back at what i went through to get there and i will not waste any chance i get. That is something i continually am reminding myself of. It will be worth it! And to show those who have always supported me how much it means to me, particularly my parents who have shared the entire journey will be so special. 

I think that is enough for today and I will leave it at that for now. Again, apologies for the somewhat emotional reading experience, however this is an 'honest insight' and i do hope that somebody somewhere is able to take something from this and continue to chase their dreams whatever they may be. 

Regards, John 

Week 3 post op. Reflecting and getting back in the gym

This week has been an improvement from last week from a physical point of view. Last week i spent the majority of my time stuck in bed and on the couch. You will soon see in the video below footage of me sliding around the house, this was because it was too painful to even stand up let alone be able to walk. A bit too much information maybe, but to give an example I was actually urinating in bottles beside my bed for a few days simply due to the effort required and pain associated to get to the bathroom was too great. This made me feel pretty shit about life, and a world away from some of my rowing mates in northern Italy who were posting pictures on social media while on training camp in Varese, a town i spent 6 weeks living in 2011 prior to the world championships. Seeing them doing what i had hoped to be doing this year is tough to stomach. To combat this I decided to reflect through some pictures of me last time I was in europe rowing in 2011. 

Ready to hit the water in Varese, Italy.

 Training in Varese. 

Amazing place to train.

Lucas Neil, Socceroos captain was even lucky enough to spend 

some time with us and joined us on the water one afternoon.

Relaxing by the pool on a day off, life was good. 

 Racing in Bled, Slovenia. World Championships

The finish of our race at worlds in 2011 (4th place). To the guys in the boat

 with me sorry for posting this, but i want to share this as it gives me all 

the motivation i need to do it again only better. 

Being stuck in bed made me very bored and resulted with a frustrated individual which did not help some unfortunate relationship issues I was dealing with, so made for a very tough week. Thankfully this week I am now able to stand up and slowly walk about and also drive. Driving has allowed me to get into the Victorian Institute of Sport each day to do a mixture of upper body weights and core stability exercises, along with some cardiovascular training on a swimming ergometer. My scars are not yet healed well enough to risk infection from swimming in the pool. I have put together a video showing some of the activities I have been completing. Being able to involve myself in physical activity again has been great, and has helped ease my bored and frustrated mind to some degree. 

The session on the swimming ergo was my first session back in the gym post op and I decided to do a 30min max effort to get a benchmark that i can compare to over the next few months during my training until i can really get stuck into training and begin testing myself on the Wattbike. This was a good idea prior to starting it.. Thinking about it, this decision to go hard first session probably gives an you an insight into some of my personality traits, I know a few of my rowing mates will have something to say about this. (comment away)

 Even though you can see i am moving around now. I am still a number of weeks away from being able to start slowly on a stationary bike which is what i so desperately want. 

I hope you enjoyed the visual aspect in this post, i hope that as this goes on, i will become more skilled at being able to edit a video and pick out some good stuff for you to view, as i am sure it is better watching than having to read my posts. 

Also, thanks to Olympic Ayres for allowing me to use their song daylight in my video. 

OLYMPIC AYRES (Triple J unearthed)

Olympicayres/facebook

Cheers, Linke

Perfect Sunday Morning

"When force of circumstance upsets your equanimity, lose no time in recovering your self control, and do not remain out of tune longer than you can help. Habitual recurrence to the harmony will increase your mastery of it." Marcus Aurelius

I am not normally one to read quotes, let alone share them. However a crew mate of the 2011 mens 8 gave me the Marcus Aurelius Meditations book while i was in hospital and reading it this morning i found the above quote very relevant to my current physical state in regards to chasing a dream in rowing.

From where I sit right now in my bed these two photos share what i can currently see.

I wish that on a morning like this i could just get on my bike and return 6 hours later.  A few hill reps of the 1/20 and the devils elbow in the Dandenongs followed by100km along beach road. This is what i so greatly want, as with everything that I am currently going through, a long ride is what would help me clear my mind. 

I feel that once i can ride/exercise again, at least i feel that i am making progress towards my return to sport. However this morning, stuck in bed basically unable to even walk its the opposite i feel and I get stressed that i am sliding further and further backwards. When you are unable to do what you want, you definitely gain more appreciation when you are once again able to do as you please. Some of the reason for sharing some of this with you, is that some time in the future i will find myself smashed from months of training, and contemplating a long sunday ride in the cold and wet at the end of the week will be daunting, however looking back to where i am now will provide more motivation than i will need to get stuck into it. In regards to my rehabilitation i am hopeful that in around 6 weeks time I will be physically able to at least start back on a bike. Until then though, swimming starts this week, i can't swim very well, but i am planning to swim until my arms wont let me swim anymore. Then do the same again the next day, although at the same time still benching more than the current bench press specialist in the gym, fergybill. I think harry needs to explain to him there are more exercises on offer in the Victorian Institute of Sport gym.

 As a side note, i hope to keep these updates short enough to get through in a few minutes, otherwise they will become too boring for you and surely i am rambling. I also hope some of you can gain some appreciation of your physical capabilities from this and start being more active without making daily excuses as to why you are not as fit and healthy as you may want to be. Thanks for reading.

Cheers, Linke